29 June, 2010

Rain Makes Corn, Corn Makes EAR-responsible Decisions

That is an excellent question Stew,

Let me begin with this, while I have heard this sentiment time and time again I would like to go ahead and take my stance that the endeared term, "Corn on the Cob" is in fact, ridiculous , absurd, ludicrous, insidious, and misleading. Corn is grown naturally on the cob, that is how it is grown. So why do we have to specify that we are eating corn on the cob, when that is its natural form? would it not be more appropriate to state that we are just eating corn? The answer is yes.

Therefor my point is this, we should claim that we eat two variations (three if you count cream corn, but for the purposes of this discussion we don't!) We eat Corn and Corn off the Cob. Simple as that. Where this confusion in naming our corn's display comes from, I do not know. However it is obvious that this elaborate deception has infiltrated every aspect of our social, economical, and political lives. There is certainly a conspiracy afoot. I propose a radical change, lets begin referring to Corn on the Cob as simply Corn, as it should be, and as God intended.

Now, as to which method of corn is better for eating, well certainly that would be "Corn" (Corn on the Cob for those of you refusing to acknowledge this revolutionary change and obedience to God's providence). My reasons are this: because that is the natural way to eat corn, it is how corn is offered, and has anyone ever thought about the pain a cob of corn goes through by disembodying it's precious kernels from the cob? Ask the person next to you to pull out some of your hair.... not comfortable is it? That is most likely how the Cob feels when you disembody its kernels. For these reasons I deem "Corn" to be the best way to eat it, and "off the Cob" to be a cruel manner of eating.'

Some people call me a humanitarian for this stance I take, I just say I'm doing my part...

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