"Then plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and keep." - Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin talking about corn, how much more American can it possibly get?
While Mr. Creighton is out to take the "Whole Foods" "new south" (i) approach to this question, I will attempt to represent the rest of us Walmart-loving (ii) and Genesis 1:28-29-following (iii) men and women.
(i) By Whole Foods I mean the organic or 'of the earth' humanitarian approach Cr8& has taken. By New South I mean this new sensation in the south revolving of southerners seeking to distance themselves from seersucker wearing, accent-flaunting, traditional individuals. Instead they have adopted the Chattanooga south approach of the outdoor-loving, granola-eating, tree-hugging, save-the-salmon-preaching, mountain biking, and mountain hardware-wearing individual.
(ii) Walmart-loving. Walmart=your everyday human being. Loving=ardent pursuit of enjoyment.
(iii) Genesis 1:28-29-following="[28] And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” [29] And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. (Genesis 1:28-29 ESV)"
Yes, men and women. We have dominion over all things on earth which God has given us, this includes corn. I'm deeply troubled that Creighton is taking us towards the fundamentalist (ironically the "Whole Foods" approach as well) route regarding corn.
Okay, you get the point. Men and women. Corn. They are different. Men and women have emotions. Dogs have emotion. Corn does not.
Dare we follow your logic Monseur Dryden and adopt such a traditionalist historical stance? Fine, we will.
Let's just eat all of our strawberries off the vine. Oh wait, my bad, I didn't realize that when I plucked this "precious" strawberry from the vine that I disembodied its entire purpose from creation.
Let's take it one further, if corn is so precious, according to your logic, why should we eat it at all? Those kernels are gettin detached from their cob one way or another and are going into the stomach of a human being. Before they, ahem, exit in a eerily distinct and natural form.
Also, would you fellas rather corn get disembodied from its cob or people lose their jobs? That's right. Only corn on the cob means no Corn Zipper. (see bottom).
No. Men, women, and children listen to me. Let's embrace our role as tenants of the earth. Not with pride but with thankfullness that God has given us the creativity and honor to farm, shuck, and eat corn.
Yes, I am saying what you think I am saying. Go out there and pluck off those kernels with pride if you so desire. Let those puppies off the cob. Because dag nabbit, it's tasty. It's delicious. It's freeing. It's therapeutic.
Get out your Corn Zipper, make that cob vertical, and begin the zippage. Let those kernels rain onto your ceramic (or paper) plate and smile, being thankful that you can indeed eat corn and not have it stuck in your teeth for a month. Do it if you so desire. And be thankful.
Corn is versatile, let's keep it that way.
Besides, let's be honest, creamed corn is absolutely and utterly the most fantastic anyway.
Two Sources:
A Great Commercial For Corn Off The Cob
The Corn Zipper In All Her Glory
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